You can’t regulate a classroom from a dysregulated nervous system. And you can’t regulate a nervous system you don’t understand. In Part 1 of a three-part series on the Empower Students Now podcast, host Amanda Werner — a certified meditation teacher, 16-year classroom veteran, and AuDHD educator — breaks down what the nervous system actually is, what dysregulation looks and feels like, and what you can do about it right now, this summer, before the next school year begins.

This isn’t a polished self-care episode. Amanda opens with the admission that she still overeats Doritos when stressed, still blames others when she’s dysregulated, and still forgets to meditate even though she’s literally a meditation teacher. What she does have is a deep understanding of the science, years of personal research driven by her own neurodivergence, and a framework for noticing and responding to dysregulation that’s practical enough to use in a school parking lot between classes.

Content note: This episode discusses dysregulation, stress, chronic pain, substance use, and moments of personal crisis. If you’re struggling, please reach out — in the US, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What the nervous system actually is and how it works: the autonomic nervous system, sympathetic (gas pedal) vs. parasympathetic (brake), and why your body runs in survival mode without asking your permission
• The difference between regulation and dysregulation — and why dysregulation isn’t a failure, it’s information
• Why neurodivergent people (ADHD, autism) are more susceptible to chronic dysregulation and what that means for neurodivergent teachers and students
• Amanda’s personal signs of dysregulation: irritability, blaming others, ruminating, overworking, throat tightening, holding her breath, inability to sit still
• The longer-term warning signs that dysregulation has gone on too long: chronic pain, chronic illness, dysfunctional relationships, reliance on substances, and crisis
• Why the word “self-care” is overused and meaningless without understanding the nervous system first
• Why summer break is the ideal time to investigate your own patterns — because the school year doesn’t give you time to even notice

Regulation tools covered in this episode, organized by how much time you have:

• In the moment (seconds): Name it — say “I am dysregulated right now.” Long exhales through your nose. Feel your feet on the floor. Drink cold water. Put cold water on your face. Choose not to speak.
• A few minutes (planning period, car ride): Cry if you need to. Step outside. Name five things you see. Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Stand up, pace, hum, shake your arms and legs.
• Extended time (end of day, summer): Body scan meditation. Walk in nature. Time with a pet. Transition rituals (shower, tea, pajamas). Journaling. Mantras to interrupt rumination (“I don’t need to think about this right now”).
• Amanda’s real-time dysregulation story: missing a critical residency appointment in Montevideo because of a time zone error on Google Calendar, cussing in public, and choosing silence as a regulation tool

This is Part 1 of a 3-part series:

• Part 1 (this episode): Regulating yourself
• Part 2: Co-regulating with your family
• Part 3: Bringing regulation into your classroom

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a teacher who’s heading into summer and could use this reset.

Transcript: 

Amanda: [00:00:00] Hi, welcome back to the Empower Students Now podcast. I am your host, Amanda Warner, and I live in Uruguay now. This international move has been incredibly stressful, and I’ve been thinking about what topics are best to discuss right now, uh, during the summer break in the United States, where I’m from. Uh, and the United States is still my home country and always will be my home country.

Um, for now though, I am applying for permanent residency in Uruguay and trying to learn Spanish, so I’m excited for upcoming episodes about that experience and just [00:01:00] integrating some of the things that I’m learning here into these episodes Uh, that will help hopefully teachers all over the world. Um, but I am thinking about teachers on summer break right now, and I’m sure there are other teachers on summer break in other countries as well.

But I thought that a series on the nervous system and how to identify a dysregulated nervous system and how to regulate a nervous system, uh, I thought that the, that would be a really, uh, helpful topic to cover, uh, right now because it’s summer break. And summer break is, and just any sort of time when a teacher’s off of school and has a vacation, I think is a really crucial [00:02:00] time to, well, relax, but also to just get to know yourself better.

I’m not saying summer break is always stress-free. I mean, teachers have families, and families are stressful too. But it’s like one less thing, um, usually, unless you have a second job. So, I mean, of course, having a time off of work is ideal, and not all of us have that. And so I, I do wanna name that. But hopefully these episodes, this series about the nervous system, will help you no matter what your situation is.

Uh, and mine is really strange too. I’m not working right now, and my husband’s not working. Uh, we’re, quote-unquote, retired, uh, which is incredible. W- I feel so fortunate to be able to do that at, I’m almost 44. I still can’t even [00:03:00] really believe it. I don’t really consider myself retired. Um, I will work till I die.

I am, I love working. Working gives me purpose. But, uh, I’m not teaching right now, and maybe I will in the future. But right now I’m focused on all of the things that I need to do to, um, be in a new country and, and learning Spanish. But also, I’m always, um, trying to prioritize this podcast and amandarightnow.com, my website And, uh, my Teachers Pay Teachers store and the products that I sell on there and my website.

So yeah, if you wanna support this podcast and the work that I do, the best thing you can do is, um, purchase one of my resources. I’m making new ones, which [00:04:00] is exciting, so you’ll be hearing about those too soon. But yeah, that, that would be awesome, ’cause you would benefit too, being able to use my resource in your classroom n- uh, next school year or even this school year if you’re teaching summer school.

Um, I have lots of stuff in my store for you. Anyways, let’s get to the topic. But before, uh, we get into it, I do want to give a disclaimer that this episode talks about dysregulation, stress, and moments of personal crisis, including some of my own. If you’re someone who’s been struggling lately, I want you to know that you’re not alone.

There are many people out there right now struggling right alongside you. You might not know them, but they are, including myself in my own ways that I, I will talk [00:05:00] about in this episode. Um, if at any point you’re feeling like things are more than you can carry, if you’re feeling depressed, hopeless, or having thoughts of suicide, please, please reach out for support.

In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline any time, day or night. If you’re outside the US, a quick search for your country’s crisis line will get you connected to local support. This podcast is meant to help you feel less alone in the hard parts of teaching and parenting, but it’s not a substitute for mental health support when you need it.

Okay. Let’s get into this episode about the nervous system and how to identify when, uh, you’re dysregulated and what to do about that.

Welcome to the Empower Students Now [00:06:00] podcast, a podcast about equity, neurodiversity, mindfulness, and student engagement. There’s a lot that needs to change in our education system. The good news is teachers have the power to make these changes now.

I am an AuDHD adult. That means I have autism and ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult with both of these conditions, and I’m also a meditation teacher. I spent two years learning about meditation and all sorts of topics related to meditation, and, uh, am now certified to teach meditation. I also, uh, have 16 years of experience teaching in public schools.[00:07:00]

So I’m a veteran teacher, and I want you to know that I still don’t always know when I am dysregulated. I still have unhealthy coping strategies of eating, overeating foods that I probably shouldn’t eat, like chocolate and Doritos. I love Doritos. Uh, I, uh, am a, maybe I would say recovering workaholic. I overwork.

These are some of the strategies that I use to cope with my stress, okay? Um, I sometimes, um- blame others for my s- dysregulated state and just this is not knowing that I’m dysregulated. And so I just want to know, I want you to know that I am not perfect. [00:08:00] Um, I don’t have everything figured out, but I have learned a lot about, um, the topic of dysregulation, and it helps.

I think teachers know this. Like, you be- you, you become, um, you, you’re able to, I think, practice what you preach when you teach it. And when I’m able to teach about these topics, it helps me, too. Uh, it helps me to remember my tools and to remember and to review what I’ve learned because ADHD, you know, your s- my memory is not the best, and I have to learn and relearn things over and over again, so teaching it is really helpful.

And, uh, yeah, s- and, and it can help you too, teaching your students about all of these topics. It, it reminds us of what we need to do to take care of ourselves. [00:09:00] Okay. So I think summer is the best time for most teachers to get to focus on themselves because the school year, we all know, moves really fast, and we don’t have time to question like, “Am I okay?”

And I, I just– I really– I, I don’t want to, like, be preachy in this episode at all. I don’t want to, like, even use the word self-care because I just feel like that word is overused and no one really even Talks about, like, what it means or the definitions are just so fluffy, you know? Um, but I do wanna say that when you are centered and grounded…

See, here’s some more fluffy words. Sorry. I, I don’t know. It’s so hard to find the language for, for these feelings, uh, that you can- these [00:10:00] states of being that you can really feel in your body, um, when you are regulated. And that’s, that’s the goal, but it doesn’t always happen, you know, and, and we wanna, you know, not try and, like, aim for perfection either, ’cause that can cause anxiety.

Um, but regulating your nervous system, it’s just such a crucial component of, like, having a regulated classroom, having a calm, um, demeanor so that you can help students and help your family. It’s like a prerequisite for behavior management strategies in your classroom and in your own home with your own kids.

And so this first episode, I wanna talk about just you. You. Regulating yourself and how to do that. And [00:11:00] the next episode, I’ll talk about family members, children, spouses, partners, how to co-regulate. And then the final episode of this series will be about your classroom. And so first of all, like a true teacher, I’m going to go over some definitions, ’cause what does, what does dysregulated even mean?

What does regulated mean? What does a, what is a nervous system? I feel like these words get tossed around a lot and people assume we know what they are, but do we really? So, and maybe this is review for you, and that’s okay, the nervous system is your body’s communication network. It’s a web of nerves and the brain and the spinal cord that connects them, constantly sending signals back and forth between your brain and every part of your body.

It’s how your body senses what’s happening inside you and around you and decides how [00:12:00] to respond. The nervous system is basically your body’s wiring. It’s constantly reading what’s going on around you and inside you, and it’s in charge of how you react, whether you feel calm, alert, upset, scared, excited, shut down, whatever.

It runs in the background mostly without you choosing it Within the broader nervous system, there’s a part called the autonomic nervous system that runs your au- automatic survival responses, your heart rate, your breathing, your digestion, things like that. These are all automatic. And this automatic or autonomic nervous system has two parts or two modes.

There’s the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. And the sympathetic part is like the gas pedal. It activates the fight or flight. It speed thi- speeds things up, gets you ready to act. It’s like, you know [00:13:00] that word triggered . You know, it, it feels like that. The parasympathetic, uh, part of the autonomic nervous system is what calms things down.

It’s like the brake. It brings you back to rest and safety. It’s that grounded feeling. Okay? So regulation, what’s regulation? What’s dysregulation? Well, first, let’s talk about regulation. Regulation is your nervous system’s ability to move between these two states as needed. Gas when you need it, ’cause you do need it as a teacher and a mom, right?

And brake when the threat or stressor has passed. Dysregulation is what happens when your nervous system can’t return to calm or settled after it’s activated Um, stress, sensory inputs, conflict with others, even excitement, um, can cause your body to get stuck in high alert and [00:14:00] lose access to parts of your brain responsible for patience, flexibility, and clear thinking.

Dysregulation is when your body and emotions are re- reacting faster and bigger than the sit- situation actually calls for, and you don’t have the ability in that moment to calm yourself back to regulated. And, you know, I think we’ve all experienced this, like if we’re in an argument with someone, like think about your spouse, like how many times, I mean, I, this has happened so many times to me where I’ve said something to my spouse in a moment of anger that I wish I’d never said and that I didn’t actually mean.

That’s because I was dysregulated and I mean, it’s not an excuse to say terrible things. And maybe our kids say terrible things to us, right? Our students, our children, and it hurts so bad. But these things, [00:15:00] they’re like automatic reactions when we’re dysregulated and, and we’re not calm and we’re not thinking.

It’s like an involuntary unconscious system of our body. Uh, and I– it’s not an excuse. Like I think a lot of times I’ve seen this on social media. I saw this post of, I think it was a principal or something, and they said it was something about how, um

peaceful parenting, gentle parenting These are the worst things that could have happened to public education. And I think this principal was probably, I mean, I’ll talk more about this in the episode about families, but was conflating these parenting styles to [00:16:00] permissive parenting, and it’s different, okay?

It- these are different. So back to the nervous system. I’ll talk more about that in the next episode for sure. Right now I wanna talk about you, okay? And I’m not… I, I sometimes I think that when we talk about someone who’s dysregulating, dysregulated, it’s like we’re making excuses for their behavior, and I’m not.

I’m not making excuses for, for someone being abusive, right? Uh, or even you being abusive to- towards your spouse. Um, it’s never okay, and, uh, you know, someone that is constantly lashing out at others needs help, and I’m explaining in this episode why. It’s because they are, they have chron- a chronic state of dysregulation, and it can cause people to be, to [00:17:00] behave very badly , you know?

And like, a- and something needs to be done about it, and that’s what this episode is gonna, gonna be about, you know? And I, I don’t think that shaming the person is gonna help either, and it’s, and neither is punishing. You can’t punish someone who is in a state of constant dysregulation, ’cause they don’t have the capacity to think clearly.

And so that’s what dysregulation is. It’s when your body and emotions are reacting faster and bigger than the situation actually calls for, okay? And it’s involuntary, often unconscious, and it, you get stuck in anxious, irritable, reactive. You might also get stuck in kind of a shutdown mode, which is feeling numb, withdrawn, really tired all the time, [00:18:00] uh, instead of, you know, regulated, which usually feels calm and flexible and connected and thoughtful and patient.

Another thing to consider is neurodivergence. So for a neurodi- the reason I feel like the reason that I’m an expert in this, uh, I, I mean, I, I’m not, like, a doctor or anything. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I’ve done so much research and a personal reflection and studying on this topic because I’m neurodivergent, and because my behavior of rebelling and lashing out has been going on my entire life.

And so I’ve had to learn about this topic more than I think other people might delve into it because of my d- neurodivergence, and because it’s harder to be regulated as a [00:19:00] neurodivergent person. And you, you might be neurodivergent yourself. Your kids, your students might be. Your, your students definitely are.

Every teacher has neurodivergent kids in their classroom. And you might have a neurodivergent child. Like, you might be the parent of neurodivergent children. And so it’s really important to know that these kids, and being neurodivergent makes it even harder to find the regulated zone. Like, you’re more sensitive.

You might mask to hide that sensitivity. Um, executive function demands can all tax your nervous system. So what looks like you’re overreacting is actually you being dysregulated and being overworked all the time. Um, uh, dysregulation is not the same as misbehavior. A dysregulated person, adult or kid, literally doesn’t have full [00:20:00] access to their thinking brain in that moment Um, something else to consider is that this c- dysregulation, be- you know, being in a state of, um, of high stress and non-thinking, um, it can manifest differently in different people.

Everyone responds to stress differently in their physical body and in their brain emotionally, and this is why summertime is such a great opportunity to investigate how does it manifest in you, the teacher, the parent, the adult in the room. I know that summer isn’t always stress-free, but the teaching profession does not make regulating your own nervous system easy or noticing your own nervous system.

We are running constantly, um, on overdrive as teachers. We’re having to talk, monitor, redirect, try and mask, and c- be calm, and this is like, uh, [00:21:00] there’s no time to check in with our own state of being. And so, we… I mean, we could barely even go to the bathroom. You know, we have to repress so many things, and so this is why summer is such a good time to start looking into this for yourself, just to even be reflecting about it.

Even the fact that you’re listening to this is helpful. So, here are some signs that you’re dysregulated. You might feel irritable. Like, “Man, this kid is really pushing my buttons today.” You know, we say something like that, not just our students, but, like, our own child. Um, blaming others is another sign, and s- some of these are, like, really top of mind because these are the signs for me.

Your signs might be different. You might have other signs. Um, another one for me is worrying. Like, just b- uh, [00:22:00] repeatedly worrying about the same thing, sort of ruminating over the same things. Um, overdoing things, like overworking, over-cleaning, um, uh, when I should be resting. Not being able to sleep at night.

Either I can’t sleep, or I wake up in the middle of the night, or I wake up too early, um, when I should, you know, be sleeping. Uh, physical signs. I get… My throat gets really, um, tight. I can’t– I don’t breathe. Like, I hold my breath a lot, and, uh, l- I can’t sit still. I can’t actually sit down and relax. Um, so these are some of my signs.

Uh, some others might be that, you know, you’re just, like, chronically tired. Um, you, uh, you might, um- See, it’s so hard for me to think about like [00:23:00] other people’s stress and like what other people feel in response to stress. Um, you might feel numb, like you don’t feel anything. You can’t really access your feelings.

So as the summer goes on and as you, um, you know, think about this and reflect about this, think about like any stressful situation because, you know, you’re always being human is stressful. Just think about like, what are your signs, you know? And then some other signs that maybe your dysregulation has gone on too long and I’ve experienced these, all of these, uh, actually, um, I’m going to be totally honest with you, either myself or people I know, family members, things like that.

Um, and specifically chronic pain is what I’ve experienced. Um, I still am suffering with [00:24:00] chronic pain, uh, in my muscles and I’ve had a lot of different tests and things and I exhausted pretty much every sort of, um expert or like chiropractors and physical therapists and massage therapists and acupuncture.

I mean, I’ve done everything. So, um And diets, I mean, a lot has helped and it- it- but it’s still something I suffer with. Um, so chronic pain can be a sign that your dysregulation has gone on too long. Uh, chronic illnesses. Um, and I’m not saying that these, the, the cause of these is constant dysregulation.

You could have chronic pain or chronic illness for other reasons too. So just wanna name that. Um, having dysfunctional relationships, being in, in abusive [00:25:00] relationships, um, reliance on drugs and/or alcohol. Um, and, uh, you know, I’m gonna admit that I’ve been down that road as well. Um, and, uh, and when it’s just at its worst, you could have, um, a crisis and be in an emergency situation where professionals have to get involved, um, where, uh, you know, you have to go to a mental health institution.

There’s, like, someone, like a person, you know, has to… A family member calls and you’re 5150’d and you’re forced into that, you know, mental health, um, institution. You know, these, these are like worst case scenarios, and these scenarios are why it’s important to pay attention to the little clues that you need support, you need rest, you need someone [00:26:00] that’s, uh, uh, you know, uh, someone you have a good relationship with to take care of you, you know?

And you need to take care of yourself. Okay, so here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna… This isn’t like some five-step plan or anything. I want you to just, this summer, notice, like, what are the signs when you’re dysregulated? When you’re in a stressful situation this summer, what do I feel? Ask yourself, “What do I feel in my body right now?”

Okay? And numb is a feeling too. Numb is a feeling too. Like, I didn’t really know that, but it, it is. My therapist told, informed me that, yes, that is a feeling as well. Like, when you can’t feel anything, that’s a feeling. Um, and that’s a sign that you’re dysregulated. Um, okay? So just noticing and tracking these proble- these, these patterns.

And they’re not problems, they’re just signals [00:27:00] that you’re dysregulated. Track them. Don’t judge them. Dysregulation isn’t a failure, it’s information. So ask yourself, “What do I feel in my body right now?” And so how do you get back to regulated? I think that’s really, really important, and so I wanna talk about that too in this episode.

So timing is crucial So it’s important. So I’m going to discuss different tools that you can use to regulate yourself when you have no time, when you have very little time, and when you actually have a lot of time for yourself, maybe at the end of a school day or during a seasonal vacation time period.

So the first thing, like I just said earlier, is to notice. Notice when you’re dysregulated. Notice the signs. Name it out loud, even just to yourself. So this is in the quick in the moment type of tool. I’m dysregulated right now. Naming the state pulls you slightly out of [00:28:00] it and back towards your thinking brain.

And this actually happened to me yesterday. Something went wrong with our scheduling of a very important appointment. I had the time wrong because of a four-hour time difference between Uruguay and the United States. And my husband and I, we had to register my husband’s birth certificate at the Civic Registry Department in Montevideo, Uruguay.

And we were supposed to be there at 1230. But on my Google calendar, it said 430 because it had switched time zones. And so we showed up and they were closed. And I was so upset. I was not thinking. I started cussing. And I felt like bursting out into tears. My eyes, my heart, like a lot of things were hurting.

And [00:29:00] I felt like this need to hold it all together because we were in public. And I realized like in that moment, I am very upset. I need to cry. At some point, I need to allow myself to feel everything I’m feeling. But I had to hold it all in. And so it wasn’t You know, it wasn’t the time for me to s- you know, take care of myself.

But it was a moment of like, I am really stressed out right now, and I’m naming it. Like, I am very upset, and I think I just need to not talk. Um, and that is what I chose to do. I just chose to not talk. So I, you know … And you can choose to not make a situation worse by just not speaking, you know? And I could have breathed, like once- One [00:30:00] thing that I could have done is I could have started to…

So what you do, if you remember, and I have a hard time remembering, um, I did remember to name what was happening in my own mind, though, that I’m dysregulated. Naming the state is really, really key. Um, but breathing in and breathing out for longer than you’re breathing in, it can actually, like, start to s- signal to your, your nervous system that you’re safe.

Breathing short and shallow is not a good thing. Holding your breath doesn’t help. So just breathing in, uh, through your nose, and then breathing out, and breathing out longer. So just taking long exhales. It can trigger your parasympathetic, uh, system and calm you down a little bit. Um, you might also feel your feet on the floor ’cause that’s like a cue that [00:31:00] you’re, you’re in a safe space for your body Um, so just putting your feet flat on the floor.

Drinking cold water can also trigger a psychological, physiological reset. Uh, putting cold water on your face. Um, these actually help. These help in, like, quick moments when you need to just calm yourself down. Um, slightly slower tools, if you have, like, a planning period or a few, a couple minutes, like once we got in the car, um, I did start crying.

It was okay for me to cry. So crying can, I, I think, help in w- if you’re in a private, um, situation. You can also step outside. You can look around you and name five things you see, so it takes you kind of out of the situation and puts you, you know, in your present moment. It takes you out of your head thinking about the stress and put you into the present moment.

You can put one hand on your chest and one on your [00:32:00] belly. Um, that really helps give you kind of a physical, like, reconnection to yourself. Um, you could stand up and move, even pacing, um, humming, singing, shaking your arms and legs. Um, animals discharge stress this way, so humans, um, you know, we can do it, too.

We mostly suppress it though, right? Like, you don’t usually see people shaking after stressful situations unless it’s like, just, like, extreme emergency-type situations, you know. Like someone just- Almost got ran over by a car, got ran over by a car, you might be shaking then. But, like, yeah, so shaking is actually a way to, um, disperse stress.

Uh, okay, so what if you have more time, like in the summer, um, or at the end of a hard school day? [00:33:00] Um, you can do a body scan. These are really, really important, I think, uh, especially for teachers. And scan, where am I holding tension right now? And send sort of thoughts of calm and release to those areas of your body, and not focus in on those areas.

Like, ’cause it, sometimes when you do a body scan it can make you focus on what hurts too much. You wanna focus on all parts of your body, the parts that feel calm as well, ’cause it can kind of redirect your mind to parts that are not in pain. Um, time in nature, walking in nature, breathing while you’re in nature, stopping and looking around, walking slower than normal.

Um, time with a loved pet, petting your pet, looking into their eyes, breathing while you do this. Um, [00:34:00] transitions between work and home are really powerful, too. Like, I really can’t relax until I’ve taken a shower, so I take showers, um, and put on my pajamas. Uh, making a cup of tea with honey. Like, all of these things are super helpful to me.

Taking baths. So just think about, like, what’s helpful to you to calm yourself down. Um, journaling, you know, to get all your thoughts out, and then just like, “I’m done thinking about that right now. Um, I don’t need to think about…” Like, mantras really help me a lot. Like, “I don’t need to think about this right now,” when it keeps coming up.

That helps with ruminating. So just, just know that these aren’t one-size-fits-all tools. You have to customize this to you. Um, but really, like, I just wanna close now. This is a pretty long episode. Once you [00:35:00] notice your own state and patterns of dysregulation, you can start developing your own personalized regulation strategy toolkit.

As you begin to regulate yourself, you’ll notice that you are organically better at helping your family regulate, and helping your classroom and your students regulate. In the next episode, I’m gonna talk about what it actually looks like to co-regulate with the people in your family. including what not to do.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone you know so that more people can benefit from the work I’m doing here, uh, ’cause I do think it is very, very, very, very, very important, uh, especially for teachers out there. You do such incredibly vital work, and regulating yourself is, is just, it’s, it’s essential.

So thank you so [00:36:00] much for taking the time to listen, and I will be back next week to talk about co-regulating, regulating nervous systems in a family. Okay. [00:37:00] Bye-bye.